abah

it was around this time last year when it happened.it was around the same time when i last heard abah's voice.

it was last ramadhan.

yesterday,on the way back from nilai to home,we stopped by at iii's house at cheras.when we passed by hukm iii asked 'ingat lagi tak ramadhan tahun lepas?'.of course i remembered,mak remembered too.it was the lowest and darkest moment for us.abah's silence continued to become the evidence of yesteryear episode.

how could i forget seeing abah cried when he tried to explained things but nobody understood.how could i forget the look on his face when he was so confident he heard his own voice when nobody could not.how could i forget the rush of back and forth to hukm to accompany abah,from sunway to cheras and to sunway back using public transports,juggling my time between classes and my love for abah.no less than rm20 spent each day.i could easily let other people do the job,but not with akak being heavily pregnant and iii about to welcome his first child anytime that time.certainly i could not asked mak to stay up late at the hospital as abah would not want to be alone there.how could i forget the times when i had to feed abah using feeding tube attached inside his nose.how could i forget the time when i was so emotionally and physically drained but with no one to turn to,as people closest to me began to drift away.just thinking about it made me shudder.

this ramadhan,things seem better, at least i thought so.abah's silence is broken by his sometimes 'errkk','apapapa' or 'abah',which is a good sign.we continue to accompany abah to have his speech therapy weekly.i pray hard everything will be alright,insyaAllah.

'Ya Allah,pulihkanlah percakapan abah.Sesungguhnya kami sangat merindui suara abah.'

amin.